Today’s the 23rd of February. I’m in front of my PC, staring blankly at the monitor. I’ve got lots of things in my mind. Unlike days ago, I used to not have the luxury of time to just think about anything while I was in "auto-in" (call center jargon, meaning on the phone taking calls). That was because I used to be on tier2 (another jargon, meaning I get to receive the bulk of the call volume compared to tier4 & 6), which I was able to survive for SEVERAL MONTHS. At least now, I’m back to tier4 I guess. More avail time means more time to relax from talking with letters "a," "b," "c," "f," etc. (e.g. "a" is for ass*****).

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Weeks ago, I got a text message from Carenne (one of my beAstfriends, kapamilya, kapuso, kachuva-ek-ek). She told me: "Hoi! I read your blog. Although you’re now better in expressing your thoughts, your (English) grammar has deteriorated."

Ok. That’s an ouch! Hahaha… but really, I appreciate her telling me that. That was a very honest comment coming from a real friend. Thanks Ca :)  I believe I need that to make gising myself (hahaha… I can’t even find the approriate words to use… so cono… ew!).

Although I knew she was just trying to cheer me up with her humour, I was kinda embarrass. I took journalism as my major subject in college. And that made me sooooo… un na nga, embarass. Hehehe… tsk tsk tsk…

Good thing I brought with me my Elements of Style booklet. I think it’s necessary for me to review what I’ve learned before. The problem is, I’m lazy. Can I just swallow the pages and make sure I get those lessons stick into my brain?

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I’m already excited going back home. My sis is about to graduate from college this coming March. That’s barely less than a month from today. Got several plans what to do. I hope (crossing my fingers) ‘ll be able to take at least 5days off from work. Wish ko lang I’m planning to visit Mafia and Mama Jace, and also Carenne and Twit2x. Missu u guys so much. Charing!

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And speaking of my sis graduating from college, it just reminded me of some things. I’ve turned 23 last January. My sis is about to turn 21 (?), my little bro into 18 (?). Huhuhuhu… While I’m happy coz our parents have raised us properly bisan lisod japon mi financially, the thought that we’re all grown ups somehow saddens me. Weird, i know. Dli na babies ako mga manghod. 

This song always reminds me of someone very special, who although invisible from my sight but is always present in my heart. Some things are may be just not meant to happen.

SHE’S ALWAYS A WOMAN TO ME by Billy Joel

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she’s always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she’ll never believe
And she’ll take what you give her, as long as it’s free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she’s always a woman to me

CHORUS:
Oh–she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she’ll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But she’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she’s always a woman to me
–Mhmm–

Bridge

CHORUS:
Oh–she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she’s suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She’s nobody’s fool
And she can’t be convicted
She’s earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me
–Mhmm–

… while this song here, reflects my heart’s lamentation of having lost that someone.

ONE LAST CRY by Brian McKnight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry……

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on…..

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down…
To my last cry…

inside a cramped net cafe… browsing thru the web… i’m among these strangers, who i bet got nothing to do with their lives. sadly, i’m one of them. well, i’ve got work later @ 2am. can you believe it, this is my first ever off from work that i went outside my "jail" (our apartment). like all these people around me, i’m in front of old PCs. trying to enjoy whatever we see online.

i’m starting to get soooo boring… duh! i’ve always been boring all my life. thanks to friendster, i got someone to tell this to.

ugghhh!!! sakit ako ulo. must be my headband. i’m tired of my life.

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i’m actually thinking about… hmmm… nothing. nothing serious. feb14. hahaha… they’re you go. something to talk about. something to write about.

what’s in it for me? unfortunately, nothing. i’ll be on leave on that day. but definitely, not because i’ve got a date. that’s totally impossible. bogus! although… hahay… masyadong obvious na pagsa-sour-graping ko.

i dunno. i just hate to think about it but here i am. i’m actually thinking about it. argghhh@!

i’m having a headache. this time, i know it isn’t the headband.